Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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