well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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