I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?