Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"