So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
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Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.