Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  So, how was the dinner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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  (406): So, how was the dinner (1-406): Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive. http://tfl.nu/9pb0
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (1339)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4527) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't wanna die...

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  (423): I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!! (615): I don't wanna die... http://tfl.nu/h1ht
  Replies (10) Good night (6822) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

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  (720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd
  Replies (21) Good night (8587) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.

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  (760): The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper. http://tfl.nu/pbch
  Replies (11) Good night (1054) Bad night (6579)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?

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  (44): Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash? http://tfl.nu/dolq
  Replies (34) Good night (4033) Bad night (1696)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...

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  (615): To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels... http://tfl.nu/f4i6
  Replies (7) Good night (3235) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

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  (505): I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation http://tfl.nu/u5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (1146) Bad night (3213)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just puked in my drinking hat.

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  (708): Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending! (207): I just puked in my drinking hat. http://tfl.nu/2gwn
  Replies (1) Good night (2098) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.

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  (613): I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party. http://tfl.nu/ibqy
  Replies (11) Good night (3085) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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  (505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva
  Replies (4) Good night (1971) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.

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  (+61): Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with. http://tfl.nu/73vt
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem

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  (920): I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem http://tfl.nu/jbp9
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"

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  (561): My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally" http://tfl.nu/drl0
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (428)

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