I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
