yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
