you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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