i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
