Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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