Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
