I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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