ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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