i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize