It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
