Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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