god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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