I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
