Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im six kinds of drunk right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
