WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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