We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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