I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
