take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize