so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize