ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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