I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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