Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
