I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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