THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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