My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I AM VODKA MAN
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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