The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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