I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
