omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
