Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
