theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
