On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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