dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
