Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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