Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize