The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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