Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
