he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
