i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
