its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
