we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
