Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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