he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
you made out with another girl for some wings
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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