Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
