I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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