Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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