he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
