shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
