Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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