I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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