shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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