I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
