I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
