On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize