Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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