it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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