speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
