so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
